A Strong Desire.

I am having a strong desire these days. The desire of leaving this virtual world.

Remember , was drawn into it four years ago, when my husband was transferred to this place, they call the hard station. Far from my hometown and known ones. A relative, a close one, said, come to fb, we will share pictures, messages, you won't feel alone. Son created the account. Said , ma, you won't feel lonely again. Fun it was at the beginning, connecting to old friends. But it started fading, when I learnt that they have marched forward in their life and I have become stagnant. Jealously? May be, human afterall.

Then it was the whatsapp the next year when I had an android of my own. Previously it was only the desktop I was using and the land line, the small mob for emergency. Again it was fun with school groups, univ groups, different videos, jokes, chatting, refreshing.

Then happened the mistake perhaps. The twitter. One year into it and its an addiction I admit. Though diff articles, news from diff parts of the world , travel pictures, diff types of people are fun but at the same time exhausting. I , the very private myself, is lost somewhere. Losing the concentration which I was getting back after years , story books are left unread. I am disturbed all the time, an inner conflict , tension, dislike, disgust. Don't ask why? There are diff reasons.

One can be, they say you can speak freely here, but actually you cannot. And if you do, you are invited with abuses. Another can be, have a feeling everyone here is very well educated and highly placed but talking about problems of deprived . Do you really know or feel their probs? Another is cheating, yes , cheating. Another , advertisement of your skills. A good oppertunity but I have none.

Well, have to admit , my this writing down my feelings is something I learnt here. Thanks for that at least.

Want to leave everything. Want a SM detoxication. But how? A strong determination? Had once. That too left me it seems.

A strong desire I am having to go back to my peaceful world, when I laughed and cried with my books.

I will for sure, one day, very soon.

The World Cup and Me.

As the World Cup Football 2018 is coming to an end I have a wish to write a few words.

Started watching WC from a very young age, after father brought the TV,  the 1st black and white one. Before that my knowledge of football was limited to the radio commentary and our Mohon Bagan and East Bengal . The supporters of the former were the ghoti ones, who actually belong to the West of undivided Bengal , and the supporter of the latter were mostly the bangal ones, like us, who came from Bangladesh during partition. There were many a funny stories about the rivalry between the supporters of these 2 teams. Films were even made. My grandfather came from Bangladesh , so automatically all family members were EB supporters only me MG. Why? Always different from the others.

In my 1st WC I became a supporter of France. Why? The handsome Michel Platini. My father was surprised. How it is you are even supporting an European team? He said. He was always Brazil or Argentina, like all other bengalis. But I was always a revolutionary, sometimes to a rediculous level though. France lost, Platini was over for me.

Father was so fond of Maradona even. But I could never like him. Why? Looks? May be a little. But his over reactions pissed me off. The year Argentina won the WC I was supporting Germany. If I remember correctly, they were the opponents. Could never really forget or forgive his "hands of god". This is the reason I don't really like  Ronaldo or Neymar of today, in spite of the fact they are excellent in this.

My today's hero is Messi and only Messi. For the last few years its only Messi. I have warmed up to Argentina or Brazil like my father. Can no longer support and England or Germany or France. But its only Argentina first Brazil second for me.

The sober and good looking Messi is always impressive. No drama attitude. Family man, loved by all. It pains to see him lose. Seen 4 years back, seen this time. But will wait another 4 years to see him return to show his magic.

But that doesn't mean I have quit this WC. Watching it with full josh. Waiting for some good football in the semifinals and the finals. No tension as I have no favourites. Only some good football and excitement of the game.