My Fears.

                                                           MY  FEARS

Just yesterday I was reading an article, Irrfan Khan's interview.  His pain and how he faces it , a beautiful one. Poetic I must say. I have fears too but may be not that artistic .

I have a family history of cancer. From my father's side I have a very big family. Nearly 14 uncle and aunt. Amazing, isn't it! Old days you see. I don't remember my eldest aunt but have heard of her so much, even today, after so many years, she is fresh in the memories of others. She died of cancer when I was very small. Had it in her uterus, they say it was because of her multiple abortions. The pain she went through, how nothing remained of her body except bones , I often heard.

Then there was that cousin of mine.  She was only 15. Died of blood cancer. I remember how she often had from fever, how she bleed to death.

Then there that aunt of mine, how often we used to go to her house. Was a strong believer in God and God's blessings. Nothing helped. Had breast cancer. Got it operated. Saw her on her dying days, no hair, thin and bended, always with the saline bottle. Could not bear it for long. 

There were many more surrounding me, whose pain and death I have seen. There was that 11 years old boy, my neighbour, my brother's friend, the very lively Papu, whose death I have seen. Then there was that senior in my school.  All dying of blood cancer. I come from a place, once which was very polluted and many died of blood cancer, they say, because of this.

Often I feared of having this killer myself. They say its genetic too. Mainly I feared breast cancer. If I had to operate, how bad I would look or would the man want me after that too or neglect me or would want me to die, I often thought. Also the cost of the treatment. Its massive,leaves a family nearly pauper. And the pain, its unbearable. Should I treat myself or should I leave the world silently, should I bear the pain or ask them for a mercy killing. I asked myself this questions.

How foolish of me, what a loser I was, unless I read their stories, the fighters in life. They braved every pain and same I wish to do if ever hit by such unfortunate circumstances.

The Sky.

                      The Sky.

               The Beautiful Sky.
           With the white clouds floating.
          As if our puja is nearby.

             

              

   

             The beauty of the setting sun.
            The rainbow colours of the sky.

         

     
              The dark cloudy sky.
              The hope of rain. The hope of cooling the earth surface. The thirsty earth is waiting for the blessings from the heaven.
 

    

A short love story.

I have been travelling since childhood. And I have a lot of memories associated with travel mainly travelling by train. 

Today I want to share a recent sweet memory of mine. 

I travel to my hometown twice every year , once during the summer holidays and the other during the puja holidays. Just yesterday I have returned from such a short trip. It is nearly a 36 hours long train journey , though very tiring but I have got to know some fascinating people. 

There was this couple travelling with us. The man , nearly 65, I think, though you won't realise except for his white hairs, and his wife,60,as he said she had recently retired . But of them were professors. Though the man was Tamilian but not a word of Tamil he spoke. They were mostly conversing in english or hindi. Surprised me because since today I have never heard any Tamilian speaking hindi by his own.On asking the man replied he stayed and taught for nearly 29 years in Pune and knows nearly 10 Indian langs and he is going to learn even Bengali .

He said he is even thinking of settling in Bengal , his wife's place , bec of the greenery , the vegetables, the rain , disliking his own place for the heat and the dryness.

But my story is not about this. It is about the love they share even after so many years of marriage. He said it was a love marriage and they did never shy away from showing their love in public, holding hands, leaning over each other and having a short nap, the man reading whats app jokes to his wife and laughing heartily, the little warm conversations I could hear, how loving can a relationship be!

The man proudly showed me the pics of his sons, both well established and one with a beautiful bride.How sportingly the man accepted his son's announcement of his girlfriend!Asking his wife not to speculate the one among many fb friends of his. How like every other parents they too check their son's fb? I smiled as I listened. 

Did I forget to tell you that the man actually had a reservation  in a separate compartment but was not ready to leave his wife for a moment.

The man bid a bye at the end of the travel with a warm smile. Rarely we come across such friendly romantic person. Hope we could live and love life as he does.